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♥ There was this blonde, she came home skipping home from school one day when she got inside, she yelled "Mommy Mommy, guess what?? We learned how to count today and all the other kids could only count to 4 and I could count to 10.The blonde asked her Mom "Mommy is it because i am a blonde? Her mom said "yes honey" The next day the girl comes home from school and yells "Mommy Mommy, guess what??? We learned how to sing the alphebet today and all the other kids could only sing to D and I could sing to G!" She asked her Mom " Mommy is it because I am a blonde?" Her mom said "yes honey" The next day the blonde came skipping home from school again and yelled "Mommy Mommy, guess what?? We had to shower after gym today and all the other girls were flat chested and I have these!" She lifted her shirt to a pair of 36 C's She said "Mommy is it because I am a blonde?" her Mom replied "No honey its because your 24!" ♥
♥ Elizbeth ♥
♥ There`s this girl named Elizabeth! She lives on the top floor(4 floor)Of her apartment building! On the first floor these a newlywed couple, on the second floor theres a man who wants a job in the circus, and on the third floor theres blind man, Joe! One day Elizabeth got in the shower and the doorbell rang! So, she grabed her towl and answered the door! It was the Newlywed couple and the said "Congratulateions us! Were having a baby!" Elizabeth said "Congratulateions!" Then she walked back to the shower and got in! About two mintues late the doorbell rang again! Elizabet got out and got her towl! She walked to the door and answered it! It was the guy who wanted a job in the circus! "Congraulate me! I got a job in the circus!" she said "Congraulations" Then went back to the shower! About five mintues later the door bell rang again and she said "Oh, it must be the blind man Joe!" Then she decide to forget about the towl! She answered the door and Joe said "Congraulate me I got my eyesight back!" then she said "eeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk" ♥
♥ little mary ♥
♥ Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty !' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'Jesus Christ!' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good,' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!' The Teacher fainted. ♥
